OTHER DINGES 4TH ED

4th edition

July 05

overseas

Switzerland Researchers have developed the most economical car that can circle the globe on EIGHT litres of fuel.	Austria Lazy Walter got 15 months suspended for collecting wages for THREE YEARS after he left work.
Norway A woman charged with bigamy said she FORGOT she was already married to her third husband. She last saw him in August.	Romania Smelly people who use public transport are to be fined up to £50 by the city council, where the monthly wage is £100.
Japan A lonely sex pest has been arrested for calling phone operators 4'000 times to tell them dirty stories.	Romania A TARZAN fan, 66, swung through trees to flee his wife to go boozing but fell 15ft breaking an arm and a leg.
Ibiza The Balearic Islands have become the first holiday destination to outlaw smoking, ecsept in designated areas or face a £350 fine.	California A man returned his late aunt's library book, 78 YEARS late. Officials waived the fine.
Nebraska When a trucker ate his pal's key, a locksmith made a new one from an X-ray of his tum.	Wales Thieves used an oxy-acetylene torch to raid a cash machine - and set the banknotes on fire.

live 8, G8, rock n roll

The millions that joined
Hundreds of thousands massed in 10 countries.
Hyde Park - UK: 205'000 people.
Tokyo: 10'000 people.
Johannesburg: 40'000 people.
Cornwall - UK: ?
Berlin: 100 - 200'000 people.
Rome: 200'000 people.
Toronto: tens of thousands of people.
Philadelphia: ?
Paris: 100'000 people.
FIVE BILLION around the world watched, live and on screens.
the Internet: over 1 million people.

Money for who?
The budget of the DflD (department for international development) has risen to £4.6 billion.

Britsh Aid spent last year: £4.738 million.
40% was through 'multilateral' organisations (the EC, World Bank and IMF)
5% went to administration costs.
55% remaining, went on 'bilateral' assistance (given directly to the goverment of poor countries)

Donations can go to:
www.oxfam.org.uk
0870 333 2700

from the UK about the SA

Rectum records
Scientists at Nelson R Mandela School of Medicine have a database of all who need to have objects removed from their rectums. Items range from a bag of marijuana to a pen knife.

Drinking pals
Two travellers who tried to walk across 10 miles of sands near Blackpool to go for a pint were rescued by coast-gaurds after being trapped by the tide.
They still reached the pub before closing time.

Natural resources
There is gas in South Africa. We are seeing the emergence of a black middle class. This is driving consumption for retail goods and housing. Investing in South African companies can allow you to profit from growth in other parts of Africa. Nigeria has a huge population, most do not own consumer goods such as mobile phones, but we can benefit from these areas.

The Daily Voice
In the Western Province 75'000 copies of this newspaper are being printed daily. Some have dubbed it the Daily Vice and has it's own page 3 girls.
INWS, Independent News and Media, a £1.2 billion newspaper group, has 16 national titles and 14 local ones. It also publishes GQ, Glamour and Home & Garden.

what I call news

Dolphins Scientists have discovered dolphins develop names for each other so they can keep in touch.	Big Heads Boffins have analysed MRI scans on dozens of brains and concluded that bigger means smarter. Brain volume and intelligence are related.
Wimbledon birds Three hawks trained to scare pigeons away from Wimbledon got lost. They hover over the courts so players are not distracted by flocks. But the youngest hawk led the others astray and ended up chasing garden birds 20 miles away.

bad brittish

Britain's most evil conman
°made at least £1 million
For 10 years he duped people into believing he was a James Bond and they were being hunted by the IRA. While on the run with him, they were starved, beaten and sent on bogus missons.

They and their relatives were fleeced of cash and women were bedded and used as sex slaves.

On the proceeds he drove flash cars, dressed in designer geer, dined in expensive restaurants and ran a string of mistresses.

Murder
°Teenagers
Two teenagers have been charged with the murder of a dad beaten to death outside a shop because he didn't have a light.
°Thugs
A man was seriously hurt when thugs stabbed his face with a kitchen knife after he refused them cigarettes.
°Mobile phones
Kids could be banned from having video phones. Youngsters have been using them to film attacks on other children - known as 'happy slapping' - and then sending the pictures to other people.

daftness

Wacko Jacko
Michael Jackson spent a small fortune pestering the Queen to give him a KNIGHTHOOD. He was dertermined to become a Sir. They said NO.

Paddling pool
Twenty shrieking kids leapt from a paddling pool after turning blue - it was nothing to do with the water. The sun melted the non-toxic paint in the pool, no harm done then.

the movies

Emporer Penguins
March of the Penguins, a low-budget wildlife film about the mating habits of the emporer penguin. It has proved more popular in it's first two weeks showing than Tom Cruise's new movie.

The film was born from a classified advertisment that read: 'Wanted biologist willing to spend 14 months at the end of the world.' The aplicant found himself in Antarctica with a 35mm camera and instructions to 'follow the bloody birds around till they mate'.

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